4 Tips For Moving In Together With Your Significant Other April 26, 2017
Congratulations! You’ve said yes to your significant other (S.O.), or they’ve said yes to you, and you’re moving in together. As your friends and family have likely informed you, a live-in relationship is no small step. There are a lot of reasons couples decide to cohabit, be it to cut down on living expenses, testing out what a future life together might be like, or simply for the sake of convenience.
Whatever your reason is, chances are you want the moving process and years to come to be as blissful as they are stress- and argument-free. We get that moving in together is different for each couple. But over the years, we’ve noticed a few truisms that tend to hold true for almost every couple. Concerned about an upcoming move with your S.O? Fret not, we’ve got you covered….
What to Know Before Moving in With Your Significant Other
1. You’re Your Own Person With Specific Needs
Whether you’re moving into your S.O.’s apartment or moving into a wholly new place, think about what you’ve needed to be happy in past living situations, either with roommates or by yourself. For example, if you’ve always lived on your own, sharing a room let alone a whole apartment with another person is a big step not just for your relationship, but for yourself as well. It’s important to carve out a piece of the apartment that’s yours, be it a corner in the living room or an empty room that you can transform into an office or personal workshop. Even if the apartment is incredibly tiny, having a space for privacy is important in any live-in relationship.
If you’re a veteran of having roommates, consider what you’ve needed in each different living arrangement to keep you happy; once you’re aware of how you’ve been happy in the past, you can focus on being happy in the future.
If you’re moving into your S.O.’s current apartment, propose using the money that your S.O. would have spent on moving costs to invest in new furniture and decorations that makes the apartment feel like both of yours. Just because you’re moving into your S.O.’s place doesn’t mean that you need to inherit their sense of style. Talk about what you’d like to have in a shared living space in advance of the moving day to save yourself from stress down the line.
2. What Does Your S.O. Need in an Apartment?
When moving into an apartment with your romantic partner, have a discussion or several chats beforehand to make sure you understand what your S.O. requires for a happy domestic life. For example, if one of you has a 9-to-5 job at an office downtown and the other works from home, then you’ll likely want to move into an apartment that has a second room that you can use for an office. If your S.O. is moving into your two-bedroom apartment that you shared with a roommate, transform that room into a space that you or your S.O. can work from when needed. By being open about what you need from a shared living situation, you’ll make your S.O. more comfortable to share as well and both end up being happier for it!
3. Do You or Your S.O. Watch TV In Bed?
Now this is one that is easy to overlook. We all have our evening rituals, whether it is falling asleep with Netflix on autoplay or reading a book in bed before turning off the lights. While you and your S.O. might tend to watch TV before going to bed, when it comes to moving in together, be upfront with one another about how much screen time you’re comfortable with in the evening. If a TV in your room sounds like your idea of a living nightmare, let your S.O. know that and compromise by keeping the television in another room. Failing to be upfront with both your S.O. and yourself about your preferred evening ritual can lead to an unhappy living arrangement, so bite the bullet and her or him know what you need to sleep well at night.
4. Discuss How To Divide Moving Costs and Bills
Moving in with your S.O. is an opportunity to cut down on living expenses, but only if you talk about it before moving day. Just because your S.O. is happy to pay for many of your dates doesn’t mean he or she plans on taking on all the moving costs, let alone the monthly utility bill. If you and yours haven’t had a chat about how you’ll split expenses when moving in together, then discussing the cost of the move itself can be a great way to start talking about finances.
We get it. No one likes talking about money, especially in a relationship. But not talking about it can often lead to serious resentment down the line on either side if you haven’t established how your finances will work together. If your S.O. offers to pay for the move, offer to pay the tip or ask if you could split the cost, whatever makes you comfortable. Use that discussion as a jumping-off point to decide how you’ll share living expenses after moving in together.
As you’ve probably gathered by now, communication is truly the main key to a successful move and future living together with your S.O. And we get that it can be easy to lose oneself in a whirlwind romance and find yourself living with someone in a matter of months. But before you actually start moving in together, make sure you’ve discussed everything you can think of that will affect your happiness as an individual and as a couple down the line. It might be awkward for a moment, but trust us, talking upfront beats an awkward living situation with your S.O.